A few steps back

Three days in a row.. Three days in a row I’ve had severe panic attacks. You know, the ones that feel like a frigging heart attack? Had two at work, one right before seeing a potential client, then one immediately after they left right before seeing another client. I had another during my drive home tonight about an hour into the five hour trip. I didn’t have the energy to hide it as much this time. The two reps that I was working with were genuinely concerned.

I don’t know how I’m going to get through this week. With the drive time today, it was a fourteen hour day. Tomorrow will be at least twelve, possibly up to sixteen. I’m not traveling the rest of this week, but will likely have another sixty to seventy hour week in by next Monday. I was holding back bursting into tears while pumping gas for the drive home.

I hate this fucking condition.

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