An actual vacation?

First part of post – Mundane stuff.

Overall this week has been kind of boring as far as going places and doing things. I took care of a few time consuming things, like going through the TSA Pre Check application process, getting all of my paperwork in order for a passport, getting some maintenance scheduled for the car, and I’ll be seeing the psychiatrist today. My wife scheduled surgery for her foot for late July and she’s seeing a neurosurgeon for her back as I’m writing this. She’s thinking of having both done at the same time, or a couple of weeks apart from each other. I’ll have to contact HR and see if I can do a week or two of FMLA for helping her out after the initial surgery days. Oh, and I also have the same, and worsening respiratory infection.

Second part of post – Not sure what to call this part.

I hope it doesn’t offend anyone, but I’m about 95% atheist and about 5% agnostic. Just like anyone from a scientific perspective, I don’t have a clue as to how the universe came into being, nor how life started from primordial goo into the seemingly endless variety of life on this planet. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about this, but the whole meaning of life thing does come to mind from time to time. Sometimes when I see others suffering, other times when I consider checking myself out early. I honestly don’t know what happens when we die. I may be wrong and there will be a final judgement and I’ll be allowed through the gates or cast off to hell.

The main reason this comes up to me right now is that I see so much senseless and needless suffering in the world. Here I sit hypocritically calling out greed of the wealthy while I live very well. Sure, I donate some money here and there, but not enough to make any real impact. Then there’s diseases, cancer and other horrible maladies that happen to people from the womb to old age, all with insufferable pain and often with a loss of dignity for needing help with even the simplest of things. I’ve seen good people have horrible things happen to them and horrible people live wonderful lives, even if it’s at the expense of others.

I’ve also grown so, so tired of the political bickering and the use of faith as a weapon to gain control of political positions. Most candidates on both sides are slimy and were bought long before they raised marketing funds for us to hear their names in advertisements. The corruption is astounding. The hatred spewed forth by the conservatives gets under my skin to the point that I’m considering closing out my Facebook account. I guess it’s been useful in helping me to see what people within my circle of contacts are racists, homophobic or overall lacking in compassion. When I see one of these people that I know suffering I see messages from others saying they’ll pray for them, but it ends there. Shouldn’t a friend chip in and help? If someone breaks one of their limbs, they might need some help with their lawn or laundry. Sure – pray for them, but actually help them, too.

I’m also a hypocrite for saying any of that. Most days I’m too tired or depressed to do much of anything. I do know people close to me that need help in one way or another and I don’t do it. I’d like to think it’s because I’m too busy, but that’s not always the case.

Where am I going with all this? I don’t know. It’s just what’s been on my mind. It’s time for me to end writing this post and go into the psychiatrists office.

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